Something must be wrong with me…

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How many times have you told yourself “something must be wrong with me” when things don’t go the way you think they should?

Is your first instinct to make yourself wrong when things don’t go as planned?

The other day I found a health journal I started in 2011, right before I experienced a major traumatic episode in my life, the loss of my eight week pregnancy.

I say traumatic because I had to be rushed to the hospital one night as one of my tubes erupted (we later found out I had an ectopic pregnancy.) I lost the baby and I almost died.

As Rob and I are getting ready to get pregnant again, I started to browse through the journal to see if I could find some useful information and oh my….what I actually found was the writings of the complete experience when I arrived to the hospital that night.

One of the things that caught my attention (among many others that I will share with you in time) was a particular episode that happened right after I got out of surgery.

Since I couldn’t move and the many times I tried to stand up I almost fainted, I asked the nurses to put a catheter so I could allow my body to rest.

A good piece of information here is to know that everything from my lower abdomen down was swollen, sensitive and almost unrecognizable.

So here’s what I wrote on my journal:

“The nurse was trying to put the catheter and it was so painful. She kept pushing trying to make it work and I was hurting more and more. At one moment she stopped and told me that I had a “weird anatomy” and this is why she couldn’t find my urethra. It wasn’t that she couldn’t find it, it was my weird anatomy that didn’t let her…”

In the past, I would’ve believed her. I would’ve thought there was something wrong with me, which would’ve made me give my power away and feel very small.

So I continued writing:

“I looked the nurse in the eye and I asked her if she would let the other nurse try since it was hurting so bad. I didn’t make her wrong, I simply asked for what I wanted. So she stepped aside and the other nurse quickly inserted the catheter in no time.”

My Good Girl would’ve freaked out at the fact that I caused the first nurse more trouble and would’ve stayed quiet and “taken it.”

This is how I experienced myself most of my life, being afraid of causing trouble for my family and those around me, so I would’ve stayed put and quiet.

No one asked me to, but as a Good Girl I took on other people’s pain and made myself responsible for all of it.

Through the work I’ve done on myself and the processes I teach my clients, I am now able to NOT give my power away when a situation like this presents itself and at the same time to gently and lovingly ask for what I want, instead of falling into Victim or Bitch.

This is the way of the Empowered Woman. Where it’s not about making ourselves or others wrong, but we come from a place of power and assertiveness, lovingly asking for what we want and taking responsibility for our own actions, not others.

When we do this, a whole new world opens up and just like in the experience I shared above, an easy and best suitable solution will present itself without the drama and the huge waste of energy.

I’d like to invite you to take a moment to feel into this for yourself.

I know you have been on this self development path for a while, this is not your first rodeo. However, you will be surprised at how sneaky this patterns can be.

Can you find a situation in your life that resonates with what I’ve just share with you?

Did you fall into Victim, believing it’s your fault and gave your power away?

Did you fall into Bitch, made other’s wrong and claimed your power demanding that others do as you say?

Neither of these are balanced.

The key to our feminine power is the balance between our Wild Woman and Good Girl.

These two together are unstoppable.

Why?

Because the Wild Woman gives the Good Girl courage and confidence to be assertive and stand up for what she believes without feeling sorry, guilty or self conscious and the Good Girl helps the Wild Woman remember to speak up in a loving and considerate way so everyone benefits, just like the example I shared with you above.

It’s a perfect match!

Now, most women are very good at being Good Girls and what they are missing is to fully feel free to express their Wild Woman in the world without feeling threatened, in danger or that something bad is going to happen if they do.

This is why I’ve created the Empowered Woman Retreat – Wild Woman Experience.