When my husband Rob and I met I had been single for a while.
I’ve gotten out of a toxic relationship a year prior and I took some time for myself to heal before I started dating again.
By the time I met Rob I felt stronger and I was actually excited to start dating.
My birthday came two months into our new relationship and one day he asked me: “What do you want for your birthday?”
I was shocked. I got so offended. I thought to myself: “How dare he ask me what I want for my birthday? If he loves me, he should know what I want.”
If I remember correctly, I think this is when we had our first fight.
My victim came out full force. She was thinking: “He’s not the one, he doesn’t really love me. He doesn’t even know me.”
My bitch also came out thinking: “He should have done his homework and figure it out on his own.”
After a few hours of the “silent treatment”, we had a conversation and he told me that the reason he asked me was because he wanted to make me happy and make sure I enjoyed the gift.
My heart melted. No one has ever said that to me before.
This is when I realized that I actually needed to learn how to receive with grace and ask for what I want.
I couldn’t believe how conditioned I was to the “working hard” mentality. I was making it harder for Rob, I was wanting him to prove to me that he loved me by figuring out a gift for my birthday.
Does this sound familiar to you?
The truth is that I was making it really hard for both of us. For me to receive and for him to gift me what I wanted.
Long story short, today I make it easy for us. I share what I want and what I like on a regular basis and I allow myself to enjoy and receive when he gifts me.
The fun part is that I don’t wait for him to prove to me anymore, so he feels freer and more excited to gift me more often.
Have you ever gotten trapped in this cycle of “proving energy” and ended up feeling disappointed with the people around you?
Here’s the easiest way to get out of this trap:
1) Ask for what you want. It is that simple.
2) Allow yourself to receive it gracefully and acknowledge the person.
3) Enjoy the gift, that’s the whole point of a gift, for you to enjoy it.
I’d to invite you to make it easy for you and those around you to gift and receive this Holiday Season.
It is my desire that you open your heart to receive fully and become the Empowered Woman you were born to be in 2017!
